


SHIELD's Odyssey

by Lyrstzha



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Comment Fic, Fairy Tale Retellings, Flash Fic, Humor, M/M, egregious bow innuendo
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-11
Updated: 2014-08-11
Packaged: 2018-02-12 17:33:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 405
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2118678
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lyrstzha/pseuds/Lyrstzha
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Clint thinks that Bruce Banner's Calypso Island Spa Retreat seems a lot better than wandering around the open ocean in a little raft while a sea god tries to kill him, but there <i>is</i> that husband he left back at home years ago...</p>
            </blockquote>





	SHIELD's Odyssey

**Author's Note:**

  * For [umbo (shell)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/shell/gifts).



> For the fairy tale (and mythology) meme prompt of MCU and The Odyssey.

One day, at Bruce Banner's Calypso Island Spa Retreat:

“A _raft_? On the open ocean? But there's this nice tropical drink with a little umbrella,” Clint wheedled. “And after lunch, some yoga on the beach. I have seriously never even _imagined_ being this relaxed. I can always try this crazy raft thing tomorrow, right?”

Natasha's eyes narrowed. “You said that yesterday. And the day before that. This is not a vacation, Barton.”

Clint pointedly sipped something pink and rum-based through his straw with a cocky slurp. “Ten years ago, I might have seen your point. Now, not so much.”

“So, the husband you've got waiting at home for you can just keep waiting. And you're fine with that.”

Clint winced and looked away. “Don't kid me he's still waiting. Not after all these years. He's probably happily remarried and raising tiny agents by now. Who'd wait for _me_ even a couple of years?”

Natasha crossed her arms. “Poor self-esteem is not a good look on you.” She leaned to the side until she caught his eyes again. “And if I tell you he's waiting, he is. Have I ever lied to you?”

Clint choked and waved a hand wildly, speechless.

Apparently unfazed, Natasha countered, “About your important life choices.”

“Well.” Clint thoughtfully regarded her sideways for a long moment. “No.”

“Then trust me when I tell you that you need to get home soon and drive off the jackals. Coulson needs you. Not anyone else. You.”

Clint tried not to look pleased, but not very hard. “So there's been no one else for him?”

Natasha sighed. “What have I been saying? No.” She pointed a finger at him sternly. “And this is not the point where I'm going to make some thinly veiled innuendo about mighty bows only you can draw.”

Clint grinned at her. “Aww, just one for the road?”

“For the road?” Natasha looked at him sharply until he nodded. “In that case.” She rolled her eyes. “ _Fine_. None of those suitors can get a shaft in the target, because that bow only loosens up for your hands. Happy now?”

Clint turned his smile out towards the sea. “Not yet. But I can almost see it from here.” He stood up, brushed himself off, and started walking purposefully toward the cove where an unlikely-looking raft waited on the sand. "Let's go get my hands on that bow," he called back over his shoulder.

**Author's Note:**

> Just FYI, if this were the entire Odyssey, here's the casting I imagine:  
> Coulson – Penelope, Clint – Odysseus, Natasha – Athena, Tony – Alcinous, Steve – Nestor, Bruce – Calypso, Pepper – Arete, Thor – Menelaus, Sitwell & Sleeper friends – Laestrygonians, Jane – Helen, Darcy – Nausicaa, Fury – Zeus, Hill – Hermes, Bucky – Agamemnon, Loki – Circe, May – Tiresias, Skye – Telemachus, Fitz – Eumaeus, Simmons – Eurycleia, Ward – Antinous, Garrett – Poseidon, Mike Peterson – Polyphemus, Circus – Lotus-Eaters, HYDRA – Scylla, Charybdis – Chitauri portal, Shawarma – Helios' cattle, Alexander Pierce & Co – Sirens


End file.
